Report Blog Entry
- 12-08-2022 -
So that must mean they are just going to make this our fault, make us work longer days and faster. I didn't really want that, and after some thinking, I just wanted to quit. My first workday after I came back from holiday was awful. I didn't sleep in the plane back home, which was a night flight, so i actually just missed a whole night. But the timezones are so weird that it didn't feel like an all-nighter. The night after that I couldn't sleep, literally no second of sleep. So 2 all-nighters. And that next morning I had a 10-hour shift. I had never worked for such a ridiculous long day. But I tried. I didn't call in sick and just tried. It was so hard to keep my eyes open. Halfway through the day, Manager Boerenkool came in and asked why I was so slow, why I hadn't finished filling the shelf yet. I told him I have a jetlag and haven't slept in two days. But that was not an excuse for him since he just said "so you expect your coworkers and me to work harder just because you didn't have a good night, come on we all have a bad night sometimes, and you see me complaining" I am so done with this man and yes he will be the reason I will be quitting. Work makes me soooo mentally tired. Like I come home from a long day of work and I just want to do something nice for myself like play a game, but I can't. All I can do is lay in bed. Every day before and after work, I just lay in bed, not because I want to, but because I can't do anything else. This is not how work should be. I only work 26 hours a week, how can others survive full time?? After this, it became the norm to work 10-hour shifts. My week was usually 3 work days after eachother 2 of 9 hours, and on the busiest day of the week I would work 10.
I'm way too tired for someone my age. All these colleagues asking, "what are you gonna do after work? How are you gonna spend the weekend?" "Oh I'm hanging out with friends and bla bla bla" the only thing I say is "lay in bed". Because I really can't understand how all these people can do anything besides work. I'm too tired to talk to my friends, I slept through my sister's birthday, sometimes I feel too tired to even talk to my boyfriend. I don't think this is normal anymore, and so did the people around me. So I went to the doctor, maybe there's a reason. I mean, i also always faint when they do blood tests. When I scratch oven a wound, I bleed like crazy, so maybe it's just a blood thing? I also got multiple tick bites last summer, so maybe Lyme disease??
Anyway I went to the doctor and when I told her everything she said "I don't hear anything concerning?" "It seems like you just have to go to the gym more often"
Bro, I am fit. I'm super strong for my size, and I can run longer / faster than any of my friends. It's not that. But she didn't want to do any testing and sent me back home. I demanded a blood test at least, maybe it was a vitamin problem.
But also the blood tests said it as nothing wrong.
I talked with my gender psychologist in Amsterdam about thinking I might be autistic, and also about the being tired. He said that might be connected. And that work just has so much noises and having to mask through all that can make you feel tired or even burned out.
Now I really want an autism test so I can tell these tings to my future work and work out something that does work.
But anyway, I told them I want to leave and made up a story of hour I was already hired by another place. idk i honestly don't know hot to leave a job. With all my other jobs, I just don't show up any more until they fired me. But this job said I still had to keep working for 6 weeks, and then I'm free. Which at the point of writing this is only 2 more days. I can't wait for this shithole to be over. At least all the money I made here I spend on going to meet my boyfriend.
Song of the day: Ad infinitum - The stupendium
these two songs I listen to every day to and from work... i might be mentally ill
Comments
Displaying 2 of 2 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
weirdhouseplant
sounds like quitting was the right thing to do, hope getting a new job goes well :)
JaxIsKindaWax
Your manager is an ass and a boomer, you definitely shouldn't be pushed so hard with your work anyway. I'm proud of you for quitting and e-mailing other places!! It'll get better, I'm sure of it! ^3^