Tldr: purity complex , i have one

I was talking to my friend the other day about how in high school I had a weird purity complex like I didn’t drink or do drugs or vape and I would only kiss ppl when we “hooked up” and like whatever that’s all fine and dandy no one cares but like it was bc of all the guilt and shame I held and I feel like part of me is still very much rooted in that purity complex and it makes me feel a lot of shame for my actions even if they’re normal things to do, and I won’t dye my hair anymore or get any piercings or tattoos and like idk why exactly like it’s not like my parents care if I do that stuff I just won’t bc it will make me not my default anymore.. like I used to dye my hair all the live long day and I get jealous when I see ppl with hella tats and piercings and colored hair and I’m like damn middle school me would be quaking if I looked like that but I’m too scared of not wanting to represent myself like that sometimes and I wish I was just actually an avatar that I could customize to have that stuff sometimes but then also let me return to default without any effort ,,,,