on the subject of asexuality

i've never been a particularly open person but something about this website makes me feel like this is all never going to be seen anyway so i might as well talk about this new label on here, where i'm more comfortable. anyway, it's been a month since i started having a sexuality, or lack thereof, crisis. honestly, it's kinda amazing that a throw away line in a tma fanfic on ao3 got to me this hard.

i never knew that the deed, self-pleasure, and all of that were things people were genuinely interested in doing. it just seemed weird to me. i had no need for anything like that. i wasn't pursuing a relationship with someone because i wanted to do anything sexual with them, i usually pursued them because they felt nice to be around.

obviously this isn't the case with every asexual out there, there is a lot of nuance to the label, but it's still nice to scroll through tumblr accounts dedicated to answering questions about asexuality and find people like me. it's weird to think that i have to say that though. "people like me", when at first i thought that everyone was like me. it's partly why i never figured out i was ace. i was under the assumption that everyone thought about sex and self-pleasure like i did: no, thank you.

anyway, this is a very convoluted way of talking about this subject. just needed to talk about it to the void, i guess.

Joy to the World.