Continuous sturggle

It sucks having sickel cell watching myself struggle day in and day out watching doctor ls play with your life acting like they care when in reality that's not the case I look in the mirror and ask myself why me? Why did I have to go thru this pain? Why do I have to be the one to go thru this continuous struggle? Why do I have to fight with doctors when it comes to my survival? I ask these questions thru my mind each time I'm in the hospital like im gambling on my life if ima get what I need or not when it shouldn't be that way at all part of me just wants to fall and join the angels uo above but in my heart I know im strong so I tell myself everyday to stand tall I will not break or fumble I may lose some battles but i will not lose the war because God has my back and he shall continue to be my rock so to all who has something their struggling with never give up the fight your day to shall come.