A Loss Leading to Addiction

I see you as clear as day. 

So clear I think I can touch you. 

I remember everything about you,

Every little memory with you.

I see you out of the corner of my eye.

Your presence makes me smile big.

I hear you squeak out for me,

Making me want to hold you.

Just that thought alone reminded me how you felt.

Softest fur to ever feel.

I see the happy memories where I would sing to you,

And you would sing back.

I see the bad memories where you had to comfort me,

So that I didn’t hurt myself.

I could have killed myself many times,

But you were there.

I see the sad memories where I was overdosing,

You, staying curled into me while I went through withdrawals.

Comforting me with your purr.

I see our memories together all the time.

Hurting me every single time

With the thought I’ll never see you again.

The thought I have to keep living without you.

This is where the memories start to hurt.

That’s where the good memories cause a relapse.

I don’t see or hear you when I’m sober.

But when I’m drunk?

Oh God, don’t let me lose you again.

I can see glimpses of you again. 

See you from around the corner,

See you rub against my leg.

I can hear you again.

Your tiny squeaks,

Your barely audible meow.

Seeing you again really makes me think,

Why should I?

Why should I stop drinking?

I got you back by doing this,

Why should I stop?

I don’t want to lose you again.

The memories hurt too much,

So just stay with me.

This was for a contest on a writing site. The Prompt was 'memories.' I've never done something like this before so this was probably the quickest thing I'd ever written by far.