:0 sad chisme lowkey vent

OMGMGGG okie so today i had a horrible day like so fucking bad that everyone who was home today knew i wasn’t okie. I was just crying n depressed from the moment i woke up n i think it might b because i like always keep my negative emotions to myself never talk about them rlly or even rlly show them on my face but like after time it gets exhausting having to act like that so everynow n then maybe every 2-4 months i have one extremely bad day where i just cry n feel like shit. Anyways yea i also relapsed on pills n took a shit load for funsies right but it’s okie cause im living n breathing * unfortunately * i haven’t OD’d either so that’s a plus but yea my mom asked me like hella times if i was okie i kept saying no she even asked if there was a reason why i’ve been wearing a hoodie or sweater for the past 2-3 weeks *she knows i’ve cut before* n i thought that was so fucking rude because like just because im upset about something doesn’t mean im going to relapse on that she was also asking why i won’t tell her like whenever i show them that im still mentally ill they lose their shit n get mad oh wait no im sorry they get “frustrated” cause they’ve done so much for me n i still have gotten better or that they’ve gone through so much but yea. Anyways it’s like 3:47am for me rn n i need to take my night night med ive also mixed my cranberry juice w hornitos. hope i have another stupid romantic dream about me being a lovey dovey relationship (not even joking it’s happened the past 3 days in a row looking forward to it hope it’s not a nightmare in reality)