update: fuck up

LITERALLY FORGOT ABT THIS but heres an update on where im at rn ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I fucked for most of my life of been clean two days ago I caved in I snuck out at around 10:40 and waited outside till 11;20 till he came at the time I felt a lil excited but it wasn't really worth I got caught not with it on me just me leaving and reentering the house. They took my phone away which kinda pissed me off but wtvr. 40$ for sum shit that isn't even strong, its hella small too only one fucking gram. Then to make it worse I skipped my class yesderday which doesn't even make sense cause I'm in summer school how patthetic do you have to be to skip summer school yk. Its wtvr, my mom is coming to the school today to check my attendance and grades which is also mad cause I'm a stupid bitch how failed both my classes and I don't have my phone so I cant text her to come at a later time cause I lied about about dropping a class to go home early. So yeah def a fuck up. I just wanna kms to end it all i hate myself so much no matter how i try i just keep getting worse. I'm the worst daughter ever I feel so bad for my parents because they rlly try for me to getting Im probaly just gonna take a bunch of pills today. I have this weird feeling in my stomtch that makes me feel really uneasy. so idk if this will be my last post or not.