life is fucking kooky

like. we're raised on high hopes and big dreams and then once youre like. 14? ur whole worldview gets shattered. its like "oh you wanted to be a doctor? hahaha honey its not that easy" or like "you wanna be president? you fucking wish <3" and its like why. why raise us to think "the world is mine" when its more like "the world is not and never will be yours. maybe you can claim a little bit of it but its not yours. nothing really belongs to you." its just so kooky. like first grade second grade third grade youre taught that the world is yours and four times three is twelve and that you can do anything you put your mind to and the word under is a preposition. then fourth grade n fifth grade youre taught life is a little bit harder and 2 divided by 4 is one half. then you hit fucking middle school and you're all panicky because all your older friends say middle school sucks and youre all scared and then it seems okay but then suddenly everyone around you wants to die??? out of nowhere??? and you dont get it and then you hit seventh grade and you're like "oh i get it now" and then you're depressed and you develop anxiety cause suddenly everyones sad and youre just coming to terms with the fact that the end of your life at home and the bright future ahead of you that everyone kept saying you had was rapidly approaching and then you hit eighth grade and for a little bit, it's like "woo! we're the big kids now!" but then it just devolves into "oh. we're the big kids now." and you're scared again!! you're scared of moving out. and then you go into high school. the big one. tghe one that cartoons and sitcoms always made seem like a living hell where there were mean girls and jock boys. and it's nothing like that. theres queer kids and annoying kids and popular kids and jocks and weirdos and the guys that vape and smoke weed in the bathroom in the reading hallway and the kids with trauma and the kids with less severe trauma and theres just so much diversity that a damn disney sitcom could never. and you dont know what to do!! cause woah!! too many people!!! i was told there would be four specific cliques and now there are WAYYYY more than that. idk. im gonna be a sophomore this year and im wondering whats gonna happen. :/