new to being gay

for most of my life i was called ugly and stupid and i just kinda accepted it and decided that i was asexual since by my 12 year old self's logic "if youll never have sex you might as well not like it" (i now realize theres many flaws within that logic). so for 2 or 3 years i went by aro/ace and i never really showed any romantic/sexual interest until last year (2021) when i noticed that boys seemed a lot cuter than usual and i felt really warm and fuzzy inside when a guy on the tram stop complimented my N64 hoodie. after 3 months of thinking about it i came to the conclusion that i must be gay and i stand by that conclusion. and its been really eye-opening having all these feelings in your head after denying them for so long. for the first time since kindergarten i actually developed a crush! (hes taken and not gay but every time he looks at me it feels like something struck me in the heart) I FINALLY GET THE APPEAL OF PORN !! i really like meeting other gay/lgbtq+ people and hearing their expiriences and thinking "wow i sometimes feel like that lol" the only bad part is the unavoidable homophobia and that i feel like i dont "act gay" when im really trying to so maybe ill learn in the future who knows 

tl;dr

im gay