Mirror

Hand in hand with the person in the mirror

Age five 

Alone with no one else

2010

I pull them out of the mirror

They don’t copy my movements 

They instead come out to play

They give me the company I longed for

No longer alone

I give them a name

They thank me

Saying I will never be alone again

Long nights spent talking with each other

Oh how nice it felt having a friend

Afternoons spent listening to the radio down in the big room

We play for hours 

Giggling for awhile until-

Silence

I hated the silence, it made me feel so empty

No longer giggling

No longer smiling

I felt alone once again

Don’t worry

They would say with a gentle voice

You're not alone, in fact, I brought you some friends

No longer alone

No longer five

Many voices surrounding me

As if we were having a party with no reason

2012

I feel as though I have become dependent on them and no one else

I gave them names as well

But none of them compared to the one that came from the mirror

The one from the mirror was my favorite 

But don’t tell the others

When I felt sad they would be there for me

Comforting me and telling me that I wasn’t alone

That I would make friends and that it would be alright

This made me feel better

This made me feel like playing again

Less alone in the big room

It seemed they always knew what to say

As if they could read my mind

They came up with the best ideas

But I was starting to lose track of them all

I would lose some for what seemed like everyday 

Soon there were only four of them

But thats all I needed

Because I knew they wouldn’t leave me

And I wouldn’t leave them

2014 

No longer seven

But becoming more alone

The big room was gone

It was replaced by a new room

But I longed for the big room

I craved the sound of the radio

And the sound of my past friends

Don’t worry

The one from the mirror would say

I’m still here, I won’t leave you like the others did

The one from the mirror was right

They were the last one

But they were all I needed anyways

No one else was needed 

Only me and the one in the mirror 

They filled the silence with their soothing voice

They were there when I was alone

They helped me feel safe on those fearful nights

Nights where I would hear noises 

Nights when I was awake with the burning feeling of paranoia 

They were there 

And I wasn’t alone

2016

No longer nine

No longer fearful 

I depended less on the one from the mirror

Yet I would still talk with them every night

They kept me company when I was alone

Although I wasn’t alone as often anymore 

But I was sad

Oh I was very sad

But the one from the mirror stayed 

Just as they promised me two years ago

But my hope was dwindling 

And I felt more alone than ever

I started to think I wouldn’t make it to the largest building 

But the one from the mirror gave me hope 

Keep going, you can make it, one day at a time c’mon I know you can

They would say to me on the nights I felt the most alone

I reluctantly agreed

2017

No longer eleven 

No longer hopeful 

The one from the mirror comforted me less and less

I felt as though they weren’t the same anymore 

What’s the use 

They would say

It doesn’t matter anymore, who cares

I tried pushing them away

But it was as if they were bonded to me

I couldn’t get away

And why would I want to?
They were there to help

Weren’t they?

Everyday I grew more and more weary 

More and more tired

Less and less hopeful 

It hurt to go on

Yet I still tried

I knew that I had to

2019

No longer 13

No longer depending on anyone else

I only had the one from the mirror

I could only trust them

Them and only them

Things will be okay, we’re okay

They would say softly

I felt my mind crumbling 

A desolate land full of shadows and fear

The buildings that my memories were trapped in caved down

Nothing but soot and ash for miles

Yet the one from the mirror still remained 

Faded, yet there

Almost as if they were right in front of my eyes

But they weren’t  

They weren’t trapped in the mirror anymore

They were trapped in the storm that was my mind

2020

No longer a child

No longer safe

The one from the mirror was gone

Gone with the rest of my mind

The silence filled in

I was on my own once again 

I tried to tug them out from the mirror as I did in 2010

But nothing came out

I was truly

Alone