Letter to Avi (Vent)

It's hard for me to admit it, but I was an asshole, I have always been.

Seeing you online makes me want to disconnect, but that isn't going to fix anything.

I'm afraid that we may not get back a third time, that we wont make up like we did the last times we fought, and I probably don't even deserve it.

I made myself miserable because I did not want to accept that I'm egoist, selfish and maybe did not care about your feelings at the time, being too greedy on "sharing" you with another guy, even if we weren't dating, it just made me so jealous that someone was going to get more time with you than I did.

I still want to be with you, but a lot of stuff has been going on my life, and I feel like if one more thing happens I'm gonna snap, I'm going through another depressive episode and I just don't feel like talking to people, I know that it's not that I don't want to, because (as you might or not know) I'm super afraid of dying alone.

Again, there is a lot going through my mind right now, and I overthink daily about myself and what went wrong.

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

- Te quiere mucho, Alex.