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i was never into poetry or finding the meaning of life or anything. however i find myself only thinking of those things. god i don’t even know what i’m doing with my life. recently, i’ve been having a really hard time and thinking about plato’s theory on soulmates. i don’t know exactly what it was called, nor do i care. all i know is that he thought the gods had made this creature with four arms, four legs, two heads. but the gods had feared this being’s connection would be far too strong- strong enough to destroy them. so naturally, since the gods hated things more powerful than themselves, they ripped the creature apart into two. these beings now had a gut wrenching ache in their souls and hearts. a longing for their other half.
i lost my other half on june 26th, 2022. it wasn’t going to work out and we both knew it yet i found this heartache was no less. for a bit of background, i ran away from home with some friends to manhattan on may 3rd, 2022. i was talking to this guy and he supported me leaving because of the reasons i had for running away. he would miss me but i would still text him and call him and once i was stable, i would visit him again. long story short, my friends and i got caught by the police and we went back home after hours in the manhattan police station. this guy’s father found out i had ran away and forbade him from seeing me. the guy i was talking to was forced to block me on everything and could not hang out with me. this absolutely crushed my soul. however, he didn’t block me on one platform and we talked on there. we also took the same bus to and from school so we had some sort of connection. however, it was not enough for the both of us. i wanted to be with him and he wanted me too. he told me he couldn’t take it anymore with only being able to talk to me virtually during the summer and wanted to end it. so i let him. maybe it’s better this way but i still love him so much and miss him. we live in a small town and our sister’s are best friends too so i see him around sometimes and my stomach drops and i feel tears well up in my eyes and i feel an ache in my soul. i don’t mean to be dramatic but i don’t know. i don’t know if he was my soulmate but it felt like he was and it still does. doesn’t matter anyways. i just think it’s a nice tragedy to share. anyways have a great day 😍!
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