happy birthday kid

i feel extremely down today. its my sons birthday, little guy turns 3 today, and i sooooo wanna be near him to hug & kiss him, carry him around the flat, play with him. and here i am sitting 2 hours bus time away from home, without a possibility to return soon as the bombardments dont stop. im so tired of all this first time in my life. i have faced a lot of troubles and challenges and i know that u have to be strong, as Victor Tsoy sang in his song "We are all sick, mama":
You gotta be strong, you gotta be able to say
Hands off! Hands off me!
You gotta be strong or else why are we here at all
Millions of words mean nothing when you need a strong hand
And here you are on the bank, you think,
To swim or not to swim
for the first time in my life i felt that having a family that i wanna care for, having friends i wanna care for, having goals and dreams... i am gratefull i have that cause otherwise i wouldve hung myself couple of days ago