I wake up and I don’t know what time it is or what day it is. How long I have slept for. I am still exhausted. I feel like crying because once more I have woken up…
I do not want to open my eyes as I cannot bare to face another day.
How might I quit waking up?
My skin feels disgusting. It feels like it is sticking to my bones, and at the same time like there is vermin under my skin. I want to dig my nails into my shoulders and tear of my own skin. I am a waste of space, a tragic waste of skin.
I fucking hate myself.
I have tried everything.
I have tried to talk.
I have tried pills.
I have tried so hard to stop hating myself.
Nothing is is working. I am the biggest failure, I can’t even kill my self. Just fucking pathetic.
And I hate you. You are not doing your fucking job! Your were supposed to love me, you were supposed to protect me, you are supposed to be there for me. But you let all of this happen. You abandoned me, you left me alone. Help me!
Help me by letting me go!
I need to get out of here. I hate this existence with every fibre of my pathetic self. I hate every single second of it.
Get me out of here. Get me the FUCK out of here!
Nobody understands me, nobody is listening.
Fuck I need to get out of here!
I need to leave, I don’t want to be here anymore. I cannot take it anymore.
I don’t even know anymore…
I don’t know…
I just don’t want to be anymore…