I Get To Finally Be Myself... FACEBOOK DELETED

I am sure I am not alone in this. Or at least I hope. Constantly weighed down with the fact that when I do open my mouth, I must be aware of everyone around me and dance around how I really feel. And when its on the internet, you truly dont know WHO is going to get offended or upset so you eventually settle for not saying anything at all...

Facebook, you know, the place where I have my only friends! Wait, friends? I havent seen these people in over ten years, some of them I dont even know all together. When was the last time any of them have even shot me a message without just trying to get something out of me? 

I have censored myself my entire life. And honestly, what I do have to say isnt even that bad! When I was a child, I was fearful of saying the wrong thing and having my over-reactive drunk father take it person (even if I was talking about the weather, somehow it would get turn around that I was blaming him for the bad rain?). Things were not much easier as I got older. I was ridiculed for mentioning my feels of despair and depression. "People have it so much worse, what are you even complaining about? I doubt you really feel that way. You probably just want attention." 

Then as an adult, its now engrained in me that if I dare open my mouth, someone somewhere will respond harshly and I will wish I never even opened my mouth. 

Facebook was a joke. Why did I even have it? So I could be another number on someones friend list? I deleted facebook exactly ONE DAY before the big "whistle blowing" came out. And honestly, I feel a lot better.

Spacehey will be MY SPACE. The place where no one knows me and I can finally be myself. I can talk about my deep despair and not have someone from my past pop up and try to ridicule me. 

So here I am! First blog. More like a diary entre, but man... I am EXCITED to air my dirty laundry finally!