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Today be a little rough, an ex-best friend's picture came up while looking for father days pictures to post and it got me all upset and angry again.
Why is it that ex-friends hurt more than any relationship I've been in.
I was friends with this one girl Liz (Not her real name) From Middle school all the way to sophomore at college.
We were best friends. We went to different High Schools after meeting in Middle School and still hung out all the time.
My parent's worked a lot so most of the times, I was at their place waiting out until my mom/dad got off work.
She's Asian so I actually enjoyed their cooking and even helped cook whenever I was over.
As an adult people ask me how I know/cook Asian dishes the way I do since I'm a white girl and it pains me to bring up this friend and the past.
Her family and her was a big part of my life growing up so when she did end up ghosting me it felt like I lost a part of my childhood.
When in College we still connected with phone calls and Instagram.
Me living in East Coast and her living in West Coast. (Time difference but we made it work)
While she was in West Coast, she had her a kid (a son) but I knew her baby daddy was somewhat bad news from her phone calls.
I let her live her own life the way she wants. And out of no where she called me up saying that's she's moving back down to Florida to get away from her abusive partner.
I was thrilled to be closer to my friend.
Her parent's are super religious and since she was turned away from living with them since she had a kid out of wed-lock.
Super messed up but I think there's more there...anyways.
She called me up crying, saying that's she's homeless and needs a place for her son.
I live with roommates, and told them my friend's situation, and they let her stay with me.
I called and told her it'll be okay and I'll pay your first month's rent at my place so you can breathe for a moment & collect yourself.
So I told all my roommates, that my friend and her son would be staying with us temporally. I'd cover the cost since I had it.
They said okay with them crashing in the living room/ pullout for the moment.
I told her it's all okay with my roommates and asked when she'd be in town.
She said next week.
So during the time, I got the whole house ready for not only a new person but also a 3/4 year old.
Later next week, no response. I messaged. No answer.
I started freaking out because is she in danger?
So I called her sister told her she's not answering my calls and if she's okay and she said
"She's okay, maybe text her?"
I called her parent's and they said "she's here"
I was and am completely heart broken.
One she didn't even tell me she made it into town or that she was allowed back at her family's house.
I still live in my childhood home so I know she's only a 16 minute drive. She could so easily see me.
I had to explain to my roommates that she's not coming and sorry for any trouble that caused. I was completely embarrassed.
I kept calling but after that weekend I stopped and said she's 16 mins away. If she wants to speak with me she can.
It just hurt a lot because I don't think I did anything wrong.
Also my mom died when I was younger and she's the only friend I had that actually met my mom.
Everyone else I just explain to them how she was.
Anyways it's been over 3 years now.
She's still with her parents, I moved on and made new friendships but I'm still really upset over her ghosting, like I can't go to the supermarket I used to because I saw her dad the other day at the store. He was with her son and I just ran out to my car so fast.
For my birthday this year 2022, she reached out to me on Instagram to say "happy birthday" I left it unread.
No. Read these. Heal.
I use memories, but I will not allow memories to use me.
We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.
The past can’t hurt you anymore, not unless you let it.
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