gah i need help TW!!!!!!!!

sometimes i feel your hands wrapped around me,


my body twinges in regret and distaste,

the acid rises up my throat as i try to move on with my day,

and i drink to forget but how could i enduce amnesia when all i can think is that i dont remember it tasting so good,

your hands still surrond my body in a cobra tight grip,

unable to move past this mess,

it didnt matter my answer the outcome was the same,

and now fire works haunt my dreams and i hope you feel the same way.

i hope every movement you make is filled with pain, 

that your finger tips get flayed,

my true fantasy is to live to see the day that youre dead that way i 

.

seeing you makes my blood run cold,

 so faint when the hands cross my body,

you held me so kindly,

 now just a remnat of finger prints that refuse to wash away,

even though ive scrubbed till i bleed,

why was i surprised,

i.



shower. 

3:48 am.

another attempt to scrub away your finger prints.

they left marks on my body.

that havent gone away.

one month i was there.

one hour since she left.

one regret i have.

too many drinks.

too many hours you held me and made me feel so safe.

too many times i said no to deaf ears.

why did i expect anything else,

i always knew my body was the only thing worth wild.

she knew. 

you knew.

i refused to think such a horrid thing.

so i scrub 

and scrub

and scrub

until the pain of my nails under skin makes the finger prints jumbled,

harder to read,

harder to pin point,

harder to get close to people

.


a sign hangs in my nervous system,
technical difficulties,
black outs due to unforeseen events!
who wouldve thought,
that after a life of murder, neglect, and strife ,
that it was the calm camera boy,
who would do the most damage 


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Lorraine first account

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Hey I know you don’t know me but I’m here if you need help
Is there anything I can do?


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