life

Like today i went to a viewing in dallas and stuff but i did see my birth mom crying and stuff i wanted to cry but i didnt  becz i didnt want to cry in frount of people and stuff but  i said like to my mom  like i want to write letter to him like tell him happy birthday like on the letter but i want her to help with the letter but the letter be in his thing  like  hope when he gets the letter hope he can say thank u to me and stuff i i miss him now  like so much   i didnt know  like why he had to go its like i wished i could  switch the clock and satart all over with that  so i could see him alive and every one be happy  i guess nope  i guess it makes peoplesad or depressed now