im going to cry

I know all you cis people can be like "Oh it cant be that hard to be tra-" SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DONT KNOW SHIT WHAT ITS LIKE. IF ITS SO EASY THEN YOU TRY IT. theres this enternal voise always trying to make you feel like shit. and it always wins. "Your still a boy." "You cant change your genetics" "You are just trying to hard" "You dont pass as a girl" "people think your a boy" and the voice always fucking wins. I can never just let it go because every time I hear it its more and more weight on my shoulders to try to play off as if theres nothing wrong. and its beating me. every time I take a shower I am reminded of how much of a failure I am. every time i get misgendered or deadnamed. it kills me more inside. and so thats where I am. on my bedroom floor crying to shit. thanks for listening to my shit.