At your worst weren't you, foolish child

Let me tell you a story about this child. Such a sweet child doing what children do. Let me tell you the words I am going to tell her.

Such a silly child who wanted love.

Oh how naive you were, you felt so safe with him.

But in the end it was all a false happiness, that's all it was made of.

You didn't think you could be hurt by them and that nothing bad would happen again.

Such a foolish child who wanted to have fun.

Those two months felt like they were going to be forever but before you knew it it was done.

But you didn't want to make mom cry you are her first child.

Over the last year you have continued being a stupid kid who let all the crying and feelings pile.

You should have just collapsed that night and let yourself go.

You would have avoided all that you went through.

The memories, the trauma, the scar you would never have to know.

That idiotic child's 1 year anniversary of her demise would be coming soon.

Someone should have stopped that pathetic child from letting those things happen to her.

The pressure, the force, the emotional manipulation, the abuse would be nothing she would've had to understand.

But how does he get her revenge, how is she supposed to find closure.

If only she just never met that betraying, fake, lying, manipulative, disgusting, abusive man.

But like all things are, it got worse.

Now what do you do. You have been abandoned 1, 2, 3 times too many.

Now the skin on her left arm feels rough and coarse.

Now people look at her and think she hurt herself because it was trendy.

You know you were at your worst when the winter solstice came rolling through again,

The only person you had to talk to about it all was the guy who ruined your life.

The guy who abandoned you, abused you, emotionally forced you into intercourse because he was a "needy bastard who has trouble being told no" and doesn't care that much about your pain.

For the months that followed July I would paint my arms with a blade sharp as a knife.

You know you were at your worst when the only person you had to talk to was the boy who ruined your life. And when you boiled it all down, he was the very root of all you have been through.

Oh such a foolish child she was. I will go up to my room, look in the mirror and tell that foolish child what she needs to hear.

0 Kudos

Comments

Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )