a gross man breathed on me at work and then a wild karen appeared

my first encounter with said gross man, he came in and proceeded to insult my choice of music (which was coffee shop lofi on spotify). he made the unfortunate decision to open his mouth, saying "this music is terrible. it makes me wanna go to bed"...to which i wanted to reply "well that probably has something to do with your xanax breakfast you had this morning", but naturally, I simply said "well that sucks" and continued with this painful transaction.

today, (his name is Brandon btw) came into my store again. I hadn't recognized him until i typed his phone number into our terminal and the name Brandon came up again. This is when my eyelids sunk and my whole facial structure changed due to my extreme displeasure. 

I hadn't even scanned his items yet when he let out the grossest, longest sigh directly into my face. he reeked of darts, misogyny and despair. I was confused as to why he had let out this sigh, as the transaction hadn't even really began yet? Surely I hadn't done anything to annoy him yet unless me not memorizing his phone number was somehow devastating.. all in all i was very confused by the situation...

his total was $28.25 and he gave me a hundred dollar bill....which i thought was absolutely fitting for him. *eye roll*

i handed him his change and receipt simultaneously...he grabbed the change, then proceeded to storm out of the store mumbling "no receipt". which i found perfect seeing as i jipped him on change ....just kidding. that part didnt actually happen.

shortly after this unfortunate exchange, I had an older woman step in. she had puffy white hair that resembled a cumulus cloud, and the glasses she donned were thick and glared from the sun gleaming in through the windows. 

me and my coworker had greeted her, but she brushed that off. she immediately began stating the product she wanted, so, in my normal cheery fashion, jumped up and grabbed her the product.

i carried it to the front for her, as it weighed 25 pounds and she didn't appear as though she could carry it herself. I then placed the product down on the counter, and when she approached, this is when she decided to inform us that she has "beef" with us, even though me and my coworker are both full time and have never once seen this woman before..but go off sis.

she asked us to look into her account, which she stated was shared with someone else...and stated that she never bought any of the products listed.. (after buying 13 of one product, you get one for free, so i was confused as to why she didnt want her free products considering she said she never spent any money to achieve the free item?) she was super mad at us for this...but what she didn't seem to grasp was how it is literally impossible for us or anyone else to put products on her account...number one, there's zero gain to doing that....literally wtf? and two, she had already stated that this is a SHARED account, so clearly the other person was buying these products...

anyways, after she reamed us out needlessly, she proceeded to ask for help carrying her stuff....she said to my coworker "i'm parked right outside"....girl when I tell you this ho was parked LITERALLY right outside our store...she parked on the fucking pedestrian sidewalk in a massive plaza...this made me then realize she's probably lost function of half her brain...shit just aint normal ..