the beginning

June,10,2022
Dear diary,                     
                   wait... i guess i should start from the beginning
October,31,2005   there thats better..
the names and dates may have been changed but the stories still the same
         
                                                        today is the day i was born well shouldve been my mom went into labor 8 months pregnant at 1 am today but she thought the october birthstone was ugly and she didnt wanna give birth to a serial killer so she forcefully delayed giving birth to me for 24hrs 



                      1 AM November,1,2005  my mother had a C-Section and gave birth to a preemie in case you werent aware preemies are more prone to health issues same with C section babies and it didnt help my mom was a smoker either so i came out already pretty fucked up i didnt just become this way overtime you know even though preemies typically came out fucked up i was born with a full head of beautiful thick curly hair and could remember things a lot earlier on than most babies


                speaking of i dont remember the exact dates but these are my earliest memories in fact back then i thought anything that happened was today or yesterday it couldve been a year ago and i would say that was yesterday

day ????? i was about  one years old i couldnt fully talk yet i remember my paternal grandmas late husband at the time opened the door really late at night to to be shot in the leg  my brother grabbed me and immediatly rushed me to the basement locked the door and took care of me while he was immediatly was rushed to the hospital

childhood memory fragment
 day???

 i remember being in the spot light all my life from a very young age i was a star i was in and out of pageants dance shows and if i didnt win i always got at least best hair i was on tv newspapers ect  but i gather you could tell i lived a very material life just by my mother not letting me be born cause of a ugly birthstone


childhood memory fragment
day????

i always thought school was going to be a fun expirience from tv shows alone i started preeschool early cause i begged my mom thinking it would be fun and it was in the beggining..