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Soooo many people are in toxic relationships that they swear is "Love." But is it really love or is it just comfortability and mixed emotions? To me love is having someone who constantly finds ways to surprise you, someone who will do everything to keep a smile on your face.. Someone who will go up and beyond for you without you having to ask... A friend, a diary, someone you can be yourself around without question, someone who has seen you at your worst and best without judgement.. Someone you can confide in without a doubt, someone who compliments you even on your worst days (:
I can go on and on but i'm pretty sure you get it.. Nowadays what's weird to me is the fact that "toxic" is the new thing and its sad people laugh about it... When you're with someone who makes you cry over petty shit and then apologizes like it never happend, someone who can listen to you about what needs to be changed in the relationship and STILL continues to do the same thing over and over again.. It's like they put your feelings on the back burner like your speaking just to speak. Someone who loves to use the whole "You still mad about that? That happened yesterday, get over it, it's a new day" blah blah type shit and just expects you to act like it never happened (whatever the issue was) Who promises it'll never happen again, I understand AND then does it AGAIN constantly... and here comes the whole, get over it that's old I get it, it'll never happen again...
You start to feel like your feelings are being taken for granted like "why can't you just change?"
That's the worst part because in all honesty you cannot change anyone no matter how bad you sit there and wish you could, constantly repeating yourself about the bad shit that needs to end for your relationship to be amazing.. People only change for who they truly love and that's a cold heart fact... It sucks but keeping yourself in a situation where you're constantly getting hurt over and over again, constantly thinking and wondering why while the other partner clearly don't care just constantly "apologizing" and doing it again and again will ONLY ruin your true character and its sad because you love that person and it's like why? Always having that thought in the back of your head that there's a possibility he/she can change one day while putting yourself through it over and over again ):
That's not love on their end, you holding on is love.. Them not changing or not taking your feelings into consideration is not love.. They are comfortable with where they stand because you allow it... They think its ok just to say I'm Sorry because they know you will accept it every single time and you do. They might "love" you but not TRULY love you the way you do, someone who loves you will show and do right by you every single day. That's TOXIC... Allowing someone to hurt you over and over again whether it be physical, emotional or mentally is TOXIC!!
There is always someone out there that would treat you the way you want to be treated, it might suck cus you want it to be a specific someone but it's not your fault it's not. They might just be meant to give you learning lessons as you grow, we go through life lessons throughout life every single day which make us more knowledgeable about certain things and stronger... Lessons you can pass on to the next generation. But i swear one day you will truly find who you are meant to be with and when you do you'll look back and realize.
Don't allow ANYONE to break your character cus when someone has that power they have you to completely destroy if they wanted too without your consent because you allow it... Love can suck and it can be a great thing, it all depends on the person you stand next too... Crying and constantly getting hurt and constantly wondering "why does it have to be like this" constantly thinking they could possibly change one day WHICH could be a possibility but 9 out of 10 that's not the case. If you have to question that person on a daily basis over and over again about the same shit THEY DON"T CARE the way you want them too. They don't love you as HARD as you love them.. That will BREAK and DESTROY you as a human being!!
Toxic relationships are not cool, funny, it does not mean that person loves you. It means they can control you and a relationship should never be like that. You need to be with someone who will do anything to make you smile everyday not cry and apologize. Yes arguments happen, but it should never be over the same issue over and over again, you should be able to speak on the issue once and your partner listens and immediately tries to start to fix it. That's how it should be.
Be with someone who makes you happy genuinely, someone who constantly tries to surprise you everyday, someone who it can be 5 years into the relationship and they still treat you the way they did when the relationship started. Your happiness matters and i wish everyone nothing but love and happiness (:
Smile, things will get better... Have hope, faith and respect for yourself <3
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