Why?

I know teachers say

That there's never a stupid question

But that's a lie

The question everyone should ask...

Is one word.

Why?

It's.... Well. I've barely slept through tonight.

I kept waking up, turning over and now I can't quiet my mind.

Because it keeps asking that question again.

Each and every second.

Why?

Why can't I ever be good enough.

To myself or anyone?

Why can't I shut my own head up?

Why can't I ever be... Well...

I don't even know.

I keep asking myself this and find no answers.

Why can't I make my own thoughts make sense?

Why do I have to make dollars out of cents?

Why does it always seem

That every time a smile crosses my face

It has to be ripped away, with an almost psychotic joy?

Why can't I do anything right?

Anything at all.

I can't clean, I can't even enjoy myself right.

I can't do anything yet I'm expected to carry everyone's burdens, including my own.

I can't even find the time to grow.

But, yet I have to.

Why do I fear control?

Why do I fear assertion over my own destiny can it be that it's humanity's most primal fear

Of the unknown

Fear of disappointing myself or those I love

Why, why did you burden me with this gift of writing but make it a crutch at the same time.