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today i woke up haunted by the thought someone i thought forgot about.i cant say her name. for now her name is frog. frog was my bestfriend. my dawg fr. long story short we havent talked in months. a couple months ago frog attempted to profess her love for me. i didnt believe her. who would? she told me something rude when we stopped being friends. she told me i was too autistic to take a hint about basically anything. im not one to sit and dwell but this really fucks with me. this girl called me crying and screaming. why couldnt i tell what she was trying to say???? i just feel like, how much am i missing out on cause im too autistic to pick up social cues? im bad at telling when someones joking, flirting, mean muggin and i hate it. at least one person gets on my ass about it everyday. sometimes i wish i didnt come off so high functioning. im beyond greatful that i can function the way i do,cause i used to be way lower functioning but i just feel like sometimes i wish my friends would remember. sometimes i feel like im invalidated cause im not "bad like other people" i didnt say my first words until 2nd grade. define "bad".yesterday my friend was trying to get my attention and she touched my hair and i freaked out at her. i didnt mean to. she didnt know any better. i didnt apologize. she was too close. i went to bed last night overstimulated asf:(. not fun
too autistic
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Gray
Growing up with autism I had to learn to tell the difference between unacceptable behavior and being myself. While there are bad things about autism there can be a few good things about it. Yes for most of my life to this day the majority of people I meet couldn't care less for me or don't like me but you learn to not care over time.
I have noticed the people who have issues with me are people who live in their own little world and taught theirselves that if they don't hear what they want then they're somehow being mistreated. Of course this conflicts greatly with autistic people since we're typically inconsiderate and are blunt with the truth. Once you start being yourself and stop catering to others you'll find people who genuinely enjoy your company.
My friends know I'm stupid and it's a hassle doing things with me but that doesn't bother them. They accept me as their adorable idiot they enjoy listening to talk. But yes there are traits to make up for the undesirable ones, but as you can see sometimes you have to embrace you have flaws and not let them bother you because having them are human and sometimes people may find those flaws charming.
JLF
Don’t overthink things like that too much babes, it only puts you in a deeper mindset and that’s not good for your mental health!! You’re your own person and obviously everyone isn’t perfect. All we can do is roll with the punches and we can’t let those insecurities get to us.
KISS ME
by maddizzle; ; Report