Report Blog Entry
i dont think anyone will reply to this but i was just thinking abt having to go back to school on tuesday and i was getting nervous about ppl making fun of me again
and since a lot of ppl on here are emo, scene or alternative in general have u been bullied at school bcz of it??
cuz im kind of gonna vent here now oops:3
i was at school once again and im at recess. i decided to go outside for recess bcz i do a thing where i stay in the sewing room thats next to the art room and empty cuz the art teacher allows me to.
but everytime i leave out the art room these two little shit gremlin 6th graders constantly say hi and hello to me like a million times in an annoying tone and then make either throwing up or barking sounds. its mildly annoying but i then thought hey mayb i should go outside since its getting hotter out. cuz ppl are busy playing volleyball and soccer and shit so maybe theyll leave me be
but then litrly on the 2nd day of being out these 2 asshats come up 2 me. and this girl is wearing this nirvana shirt of the yellow xeyed smiley. literally every single girl at my school wears the same nirvana smiley shirt just in a different variation. its a good shirt methinks but just an observation on how white cishet ppl seem to be copies of each other
so anyways this girl i dont even know she isnt in any of my classes she comes up to me and says "heyy um, whats ur name??" in a bitchy tone. im confused and then i said my name rlly quietly bcz i can barely speak when around people my age cuz they scare me
and then she says "ohh ok coool cuz i was just like trying to make new friends around here yknow???" aalso in a bitchy tone and then she and her crony walk away
it wasnt like they were making fun of me for 5 mins straight or calling me slurs left and right but its just like why do they have to do that
if u dont like me just leave me be or at least make fun of me where i cant hear it
and i get made fun of at least once per day so theres probably a lot ppl have said about me that i havent heard yet
cuz later in the day some annoying dude with the roblox shaggy haircut asked me why i dont talk at all. i dont like him cuz hes annoying and ableist and he asked it in a blunt way too.
so after those girls made fun of me i maybe shed a few tears perhaps felt rlly embarrassed.
cuz with autism once someone says something my brain immediately panics for a sec bcz someones talking to me, then processes what they said, tries to decide if i respond, if i decide to then i have to work up the courage to talk and thats a whole nother process. and then once my brain is done processing its already too late to do anything.
my brain overworks itself bcz of it and then i get 10x more nervous and embarrassed and sad than i should
and ppl make fun of me for the way i dress but also cuz im a social reject
the other gay kids are def made fun of sometimes but they still act mostly normal socially and talk to people
but i just like
no<3
i cant
i really cannot
i hate autism and anxiety and maybe my trauma impacted the way i am too idk but my mom said itsa possibility
but i guess ill just go back inside since 8th graders intimidate me more then 6th graders
(p.s. i have nothing against 6th graders swwy)
TLDR:::::schools sucks and ppl bully me. me then proceed to vent abt me being autistic and a social reject
but anyways vent over :D. sorry 4 the long post if anyone even attempts to read this
Comments
Displaying 1 of 1 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
✞pompom✞
AND I FORGOT 2 ADD but i was also annoyed before recess bcz we had a thing where we thought about how it would affect our main character in our book if they were apart of the lgbtq community since pride month was coming up. and these two assholz i sit next to were joking about their characters turning into furries and other things in a negative way like stfu harrison