self image

i just noticed that like some years ago i was so paranoid and thought that everybody was looking at me and seeing me as this weird, ugly, little worm, and i just stopped caring about how i looked in videos or whatever for my own sake. now i dont know if i am pretty and how should i dress and how people see me. i wear extra large clothes bcs comfy>>>anything but now i realize i am really skinny and not that tall so those must got me looking like a baloon. also i am pretty so i think i could put more effort in me and have fun with different styles n shit, so many people do this and i just stopped???