Embraced

It really is painful staying alive when you feel you have no purpose, I go to work every day, I meet new people and learn new things but I lay awake in bed every night thinking about how ungodly alone I am. I probably always will be. I try not to be so pessimistic, but maybe that's just yet another one of my curses. 

My skin used to be soft and look like porcelain, my eyes were bright and excited for whatever would meet their gaze, 

But every thing is so different now, so mistaken. 

I can no longer meet my own face in a mirror, 

Nor do I want to. 

I no longer get hugs, hold hands or get embraced. 

Only reminded,

Reminded of the same sick loneliness,

The emptiness, 

The dark corner lurking in your thoughts. 

I used to put forth the effort to stretch a smile from ear to ear, 

But I am so weak now. 

I'd do anything to lay my lead head down on someone's lap and drift off. 

I would be okay with death, or slumber. 

I just want to be embraced.