potential

potential, i hate how everything and everyone, every situation and problem, every solution has a line of maximum potential that it can reach and yet everything is so, damp?

blunt, dull, monotonous.

i know that my life right now has probably reached its maximum potential and that the possibility of it getting any better than it is right now is extremely low. but it still feels like everything is just one big smudge. i hate how this feels and it gives me so much anxiety to even think about it. it reminds me of those people who peak in highschool and every moment after that is just another second in hell that they have to endure. they flip through their albums and write emails and letters to their old friends just to get a glimpse of hope again. its sad and pathetic and who knows, maybe one day ill be like them too. 

another thing i think about a lot is 'how can i maximize the potential of the situation i am in now?'. its just the urge to be perfect and for everything around you to be perfect. i dont like the anxiety that it holds.

i want to learn to be imperfect and that even though their is a line of maximum potential that one can reach, you don't always have to be there. if youre trying so hard to reach that maximum potential thats its causes such insanity, then maybe youll never truly be there?

222 ;; you are at the right place at the right time.

-xo noodle