funerals.

not the afterlife, but the way people go on living after someone they love dies. 

it seems the still-living are left in a double bind wherein they're expected to both mourn and move on. obviously the societally expected period of grief is given, but soon thereafter you are just expected to move on. people die every day, i wouldn't have it any other way, but doesn't that seem like a lot to deal with? somehow you're expected to care about death but not be struck stagnant by it.

anyhow, the main inspiration for this post was a funeral trope that's started itching at me.

it's the whole "dead person wouldn't have wanted us to mourn, they would have wanted us to celebrate their life"

cheery.

now, not only are we robbed of the due emotions that come with processing death, but we're taking away the one thing everyone is promised after death. someone will miss them. someone will think of them. sure celebrate and move right on, but what do we leave the dead? there is no certainty in the afterlife, the only afterlife we can guarantee is memory.. so let's not celebrate and march on all too suddenly.

on a less important note, i think this trope also overestimates the selflessness of most dead people. in life, most would not be nearly selfless enough to save others of grief at their own expense, so why would that be one's wont after death?