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this is just a little crush vent/story ! i will be using someone as an example !!! is it just me who only realises that they have a crush on someone at like the last min??? (sob) because it really be taking me months to figure it out fr fr.
like figuring out who i have a crush on takes so long for me bro... i'm going to use this guy as an example, so he is not my type at all, i'd like to start off with ! and honestly, not the most attractive guys ever either? see he was my crush's friend and honestly i didn't like him at first (backstory: he was just never nice in the first two year of knowing him and literally 2nd year of knowing him, he randomly went after me, teasing me about something that happened a year ago ??? so yeah, i didn't like him!) i began being chill with him around like january this year? definitely february, he like completely changed and honestly this term he has only been kind to me. so i just couldn't care less anymore! i was like ''oh okay! he seems chill now, i wanna give him a good impression since i like his friend!''
and i mean... at first yes! i was v shy around him because yeah, i did want to seem chill in front of him. but around march it all started changing... and i'm only realising how many obvious hints i was giving myself and i was so oblivious !!! it all began changing (I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!) when i remember i'd sometimes catch myself wanting to see him? like i was barely paying attention to my crush and instead of him!!! let's call him eren and my crush just... crush lol!
i'd catch myself looking at eren instead of crush, and i was completely oblivious that these might be obvious signs?????? my heart would race when he'd catch me staring and i'd write it off as: ''oh! i just wanna make a good impression on him because i like his friend!'' (SOB) i found myself wanting to be near him on a trip and wanting to sit close to him and still didn't notice it.
it got even worse though and more obvious... when there was this one situation when the string i was hanging by broke completely. i saw him wear something (it was v embarrassingly but.... a labcoat..... i don't even know what he was doing!! and i don't even have a thing for labcoats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but when i saw him, i just lost it. i went so red and my mouth went dry. he also passed me that same moment and i felt him (and his labcoat) pass me. that was my last straw.
from then on i'd think of him all the time, creating fake scenarios ect ect. and i still didn't realise i had a huge crush on him???????????????????????????????????????????? i was like: ''no! this is only attraction! only lust, i do not like him at all!''
bruh.
after this, and most days thinking of him it took me ANOTHER MONTH to realise that ''hey! i might have a crush on him.'' :/
when i began wanting to post stories on my instagram and always checked if he saw them, i began thinking: ''hey... this doesn't seem like just attraction anymore!''
its literally not been long at all before realising my crush on him, nawwwww... i mean, i am trying to get rid of it but !!!!!! it's not working v well. this is all so embarrassing (sob)
like i'd apperciate it it if i'd have a crush on someone... maybe my type???????? like, at this point i'm only attracted to this fake version i've created about eren in my head bro! nah cause my stubborn ass rn is still denying me having a crush on him but at least now i know MYSELF that i am denying it and not completely lost on the fact that i'm interested in him
i don't know, i thought it would be funny and i kinda wanted to talk about this! plus, i really do like spacehey so, i might start posting blogs on here since i love writing and journaling (scratches head) !! plus, its a cute little (kinda) anonymous blog which is total radical.
i don't know
i am hopeless at this point LMFAO.
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M4GG0T M3NT4L
dude, actually same fr
feng?!
ok