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I just had one of the most important talks in my life with my aunts. I wanted to shift to Psychology but unless I had the blessing of aunt2 (the one who I have a very bad relationship with), I can't do that. Thankfully, she heard my side of why I can't stay in my current course anymore and we agreed on a compromise. If she's successful in helping me into getting a job at the place she works at, I'll have to study for two years for accounting units. This was so I could be qualified for promotions. I agreed. I'm happy. All of us were happy with the results of the talk. But what stuck to me the most was not the success of finally having all of their blessings, but aunt2's talk about legacy. Specifically, how she wanted me to get the job at her place so I could continue my mom's legacy. When I retaliated and said she's dead so I don't think that would make sense, she said I would instead continue her legacy.
I was mad.
I understand that education and employment are very sensitive topics in our household. With my brother and father not finishing their education and my uncle not getting a permanent job for years. All for the same reason of bad decisions and lapses of judgment. In my immediate family, I was going to be the only child to finish their education and the second family member to do so after my mother. What I think aunt2 doesn't understand, is that talks of legacy is sensitive to me as well. Looking back, she's a bit dense when it came to my issues and perspectives on certain topics relevant to our family. But after everything she's said and done to me, all on the basis of my mother not always being a good person, therefore she thinks I was the same, I was seething after she even spoke of the word "legacy". I hated it. I hated it hearing out of her mouth. Who was she to tell me that I should do anything in my life for another person's legacy? Let alone her own?
I was positively fuming but I reined myself in because again, this was an important talk for me. I needed to get on her good side. So, I did. And now I'm waiting for a copy of a shifting form from my current college. I'm not fond of legacies which, I think, is no fault of my own. But I want to make something very clear. Whatever I do in my life, I'm going to do for myself. I'm going to finish my education and get a decent job for myself because I want to and have the means to do so and I don't want those means to go to waste. As far as I'm concerned, I'm not going to continue or finish a legacy, but start my own.
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