spamming stuff from notes app

lol i havent been on here in a hot min since my sleeping is messed up and honestly im just trying to figure out what im supposed to be doing with myself right now which sound silly. its strange. i wish i had someone i could tell everything to but i dont. i dont really allow myself to. theres just so many things i hide behind, so many thing i have to change up so i can keep myself sane and also so i dont have to tell the complete truth. i wish i could dump everything on the table and simply be okay with doing that. i cant though. anyway, this helps i guess. just having things out there