My social life

TW mention of Sexual assault and abuse.

Ever since I was little I haven't had many friends. I would have some here and there but not a friend group. I found out last year that I'm autistic and it makes a lot of sense for my lack of social awareness. My parents cause me to move around a lot and so I struggled with making friends because it would be the middle of the year and everyone already had their friends. Besides my oddities I am also blind so I was always viewed as weird or odd by my peers. i started lying about everything so that way people would think I'm cool. around 6th grade i came out as Transgender I'm 16 now and going on HRT as well as getting my name changed to my preferred name. but they caused me to lose a majority of my friends more as i became a bigger social outcast. 7th grade a new person who was Non-Binary came to my school them and I where friends from the start. We had theater in common. we where put in the same theater classes since then.  Summer before Freshmen year I was sexually assaulted by a upper classmen, and it cause me to have tension in my upperclassmen as well as within. Freshmen year I was starting to get groomed by a senior and my friend made me feel kinda bad about it but i brushed it off. Them and i would hangout together every other weekend and they shaped my entire personality and made me a carbon copy of them. Around sophomore year i came publicly about the abuse i faced at home and was emergency placed into their moms care as i have no family who could house me. Tomorrow is the anniversary of that and I have to remind myself that i didn't try to strain the relationship and that it wasn't my fault or my choice. I lived with them from October 1st 2020 to May 29th 2021 after a few month our relationship became abusive and they clamed they where just treating me like i was their brother when in fact i was just a place for them to put their negative emotions into. I developed a sever caffeine addiction i was seeking therapy for my trauma and was unable to be medicated causing sever anxiety and depressive episodes. I starting writing music to cope with it and was shut down by Their mom and them for it and felt isolated. They made horrible comments on how my disability made me inept and stupid. i was mocked by them daily causing me to have severely low self esteem. they found me a boyfriend because my ex was abusive and this was the only positive thing they did sophomore year that carries on into my junior year. After i started dating him i found out he has ASPD ( Anti-social Personality Disorder) what used to be called being a sociopathy. This didn't set off red flags as i have issues with empathy and understanding emotion so i didn't really mind. While my now Ex friend made it clear they they beloved i NEEDED to breakup with him as he would become abusive.( NOTE: him and i will have been dating 9 months October 6th. and he hasn't been abusive to me ever) After that they would make comments about how mentally ill people shouldn't date and how disabled people shouldn't work. They would also show bratty and spoiled behaviors by crying and complaining to their mother about what was for dinner and then turning around and calling me spoiled. They would also often sneak out the house and blame it on me or lie and say i did it. once summer came they started 2 jobs and i was left in the dust never talked to i only hangout with my boyfriend and ended up moving to a new neighborhood but not out of school zones. about a week after being back at school they kicked me out of the group chat and blocked my number. They told me that they thought i was toxic and selfish and that they didn't want to be my friends because i am autistic and it would make people look at them worse. They then guilted me into feeling like their mom hated me and that i was awful. My boyfriend is my only friend now and i don't really hangout with anyone. i graduate next year and i just want to continue music and maybe be something. one good thing is i don't care about peoples options anymore and dress and act how i am.

I don't want sympathy i just needed to get this out.

I guess I'm kind of asking for friends too. IDK