Vent about feeling dirty and unloveable lol

I'm  posting this in case someone relates or has felt this way before and moved past it. Please take the Tw into account, I mention hypersexulity, low self esteem and internalized homophobia. 

I feel so disgusted with myself, and I don't know how to cope. From being bisexual, coping mechanisms, hyper sexuality. I don't even have a motive for anything I have no reason to act the way I do or think or even fucking feel the way I do. I feel like I taint everything I touch,