Why I'm not punk

long story short is that it's because of the guilt I became overly-conscious of every single interaction I had with corporations and this gave me a constant sense of guilt

was gifted a patch from hot topic? not punk

bought lunch from albertsons? not punk

bought something from amazon because I can't afford the small business equivalent? not punk

I tried to adopt the ideology that we live in a society constantly consumed by corporations and it's impossible to avoid them entirely without becoming homeless or something but then again most punks choose that homelessness because of their support for the cause so I continue to feel guilty about my actions. Not to mention all the stuff I had bought before I decided to go punk; it was all just too much

Maybe one day if I'm mentally well enough I'll go back to it, but for now I'd rather not follow any label at all. I am an activist, but I am not punk and won't claim to be. I have a leather jacket with some pins and patches on it, but I am not punk and won't claim to be.

It makes me sad because I truly believe in what punks do but I just- I just can't... I'm not equipped enough. Call me weak, idc, but I can't do it. I'll make pins out of bottlecaps instead of buying them, I'll start making my own patches, but I don't think I'll be able to call myself punk any time soon. 

Again, it saddens me, but I'm at least proud of myself for admitting I can't and not forcing myself to be unhappy because of my own guilt