growing up is weird

i've been saying that a lot lately, 'i don't know,' and maybe it's just like, part of being an adult? or a young adult, at least? being vaguely confused as shit and hoping for the best 24/7? i don't know. thinking about it, literally no one's ever given me any advice on any of this -- i grew up enough to use a computer and feed myself and in terms of guidance that was kinda just it. i'm having to teach myself the rules a little bit, and it feels weird. i guess though, maybe that's just how this shit works -- like i've said a hundred times already (joke), i don't know.

what i do know is that i'm tired, and it's way too warm outside. it's supposed to be like 90f one day this weekend -- i forgot which -- and i'm very not excited about that. my room is like barely insulated so any temp that's just a little too cold or a little too hot and i'm shivering/sweating my ass off. it's not fun.

i'll be okay though -- i just like to complain, drama queen (king?) gene and all that. it runs in the family.

i'm gonna try and get some sleep, and see if that does anything for me in terms of being less confused about life, and about whether or not i feel like selling my free time to mcdonalds or to the grocery store.

loves it,

-patch