???

i dont even know how to help myself anymore the days feel longer school has only gotten worst and worst as the years go on ive never felt so drained so hopeless in a while.These r meant to be the best years of my life but honestly i cant remember the last time i was turely happy with my body,my life any of it why me? why now? i ask myself these things a lot.both my parents hate me i just wanna sit in a tub a drown out all the noises put me ears in the water and feel at peace.whats the point of living if you just drifting.why cant i feel anything but pure numbness i constantly have to be told how much of a prick i am by the ppl that made me the way i am.i get beat to the point of wanting to die.my head feels so fuzzy around her.I have to go to summer school which is expected i barley do much school is just so... stressful to the point i feel like i cant even go without feeling a sense of unspoken of dread.I wanna sit in a room full of nothing and be nothing and slowly feel great for the first time,cause i feel like this body isnt mine anymore :// everyone is starting to hate me and i just dont know what to do at this point.