my dad

im going to start from the beginning with this and see where it goes.

my mum was 38 when she had me and i was her first child and it was a very difficult birth, she now cant have any more children because the doctors tied something? idk. point is im her only child and she cant have any more. my parents were together i think roughly 15 years but they never really got along. my mum was thinking about divorcing him all through her pregnancy and they finally divorced shortly after i was born. i dont blame my mum. 

dont get me wrong my dads never physically abused me, but he has mentally. not in a big way but hes very manipulative and narcissistic. when i was younger i used to go to his house every second weekend, he never really looked after me. it was always my nan who would wake me up, make meals, play with me etc. my dad still lived in his parents house and he is also a only child as well. my mum said that every monday when i got back from my dads id be grumpy or sick or moody. my nan died around when i was 11 and he finally started being more involved in my life. unfortunately for him since he was never around when i was younger i.. idk how to put it. didnt want to talk to him? was over it? didn't want to connect with him anymore and didnt know how to? 

also id finally learnt how to express my emotions so instead of being moody after being at my dads id just rant to my mum about all the fucked up things he did. 

one day he was in the car with me and he said "how would you feel if after school every monday you come to my place and then sleep here then go back to your mums on tuesday afternoon?" ofc in my mind im like "FUCK NO" but I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO SAY NO TO HIM. i was 11 how was i gonna tell my dad i didnt want to spend more time with him?? so ofc me being the dumb bitch i was said "thatd be great :D" with false enthusiasticness (i dont think thats a word but whatever it is now) and the most pained smile ever. i didnt think he was actually going to go through with it, unfortunately he did. so by the time i was 12 i was going through the painful process of driving 1 hour home from school every second monday afternoon. this also meant explaining my timetable to my friends was the most excruciatingly painful thing ever. thats a bit of an exaggeration.

one thing that happened that i still remember was when i forgot to go to his place one monday and went home to my mums instead of my dads. now my phones on silent ALL THE TIME so when my dad messaged me i didnt see it. when i finally checked my messages i see things like "are you on the bus" "where are you" "are you nearly home" which are all fair yk then i see "if i dont hear from you by 5:30 im gonna have to call the police to report you missing". i remember bursting out into laughter and showing my mum. the time when i finally read his messages was 5:27 so i replied at 5:29 and this is the conversation we had over text

me: sorry i forgot

him: are you with your mother?

me: yes

him: answer the phone when i call you now please

so then he calls me and yk what he starts saying a dead serious tone. (keep in mind this is like the first time ive forgotten). "if you continue to forget im going to have to go to court and you'll come here a week and go to your mums a week" im ofc like "FUCK NO" but this time im able to stand up for myself more and also my mum was next to me mouthing "HANG UP" so i hung up on him. i felt so fucking girlboss(literally i was tho). then he sent "i cant believe you hung up on me, did you mean to do that"

yk what i sent in response?

A GO PISS GIRL MEME.

LMAO.

i was a fucking comedy genius ngl.

anyways thats it i probably sound crazy and like i hate my dad.

ngl thats kinda true.

:)