Vent ( tw )

  i don’t know if I can anymore , but at the same time I can’t stop thinking that maybe I’m making it all up in my head. I was venting to my very close cousin and she said “ Sadness can last for a while it doesn’t have to be a couple days you could be so that’s where you want to kill yourself “ I don’t maybe I’m just crazy. But I always feel like I’m just watching myself and suddenly it gets quiet and it’s like I’m alone just looking at over myself . And I keep this pills in my room and I constantly think of just taking them and getting it over with , I’ve thought about just putting them back but I brought them in here because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. My mom doesn’t even care she told me so herself so I don’t bother trying to talk to her , mostly because she just uses it against me and makes fun of me but cares so much for everyone else but when it’s her own daughter I’m just being dramatic. Another thing is I always hear about people who are depressed cry a lot but I don’t cry all the time or a lot even I barley cry I just feel empty like I feel nothing ?? if any of that makes sense .