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In three days as of writing this I am turning 18, and it feels weird. Every person feels weird turning 18, especially the mentally ill haha, but I am having a large disconnect to the fact I will be an adult in three days. I am still taking high school courses, when all my friends already have jobs. I don't feel like I deserve to be an adult yet, I mean today I cried over a math class, how am I gonna have my own place? The dread of it fills me about as much as the excitement of it. I can start realistically thinking of how to take the first steps into living my own life, instead of letting my parents control it. I already have a plan on how to get out of here, I'm just second guessing it because part of me is so scared to be closer to fulfilling it. It feels weird to feel like this. I'm so used to only hearing about the genuine fear of being an adult, to be actually feeling it holds so much disconnect to me. As much as I dread this soon coming adulthood, I hope I will finally be able to do all of the things I have wanted to do for years.
This was kind of a stupid thing to write, but it felt nice to actually put this down on... paper (?) like this. I don't even know if this is what you are supposed to use blogs for I'll be honest, so if it's not, do tell, and I will privatize it. If you read this, thank you for wasting your time on my bullcrap <3
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