a thanks,

a thanks,

to the tan boy,

with the caring eyes and loud mouth.

to his diligent listening of woes,

of harmful topics that are not light on ears.

when i told you i wanted to die,

you met me with warmth-

one which filled me with a sense of 

love.

you don’t love me,

you potentially don’t even care for me.

we are not friends.

to your generous words,

for i told you i hated my body.

“you’re beautiful the way you are”.

i never took you for an inclusive man,

my judgement of you was poor.

my naivety however must end,

for you have been told many things.

your ears have heard unwanted words,

unwanted stories which have made,

the toss, the turn,

the restlessness at night.

i’m deeply sorry for the disturbance,

the inconvenience.

it’s time for my going,

my leave,

where i become happy and may rest.

where the wind stops blowing,

and my stress vanishes.

it was naive to think,

i could bury you in my issues.

a man who’s middle name i do not know,

a man six years my senior.

a man who did not deserve to hear the harsh words,

the words which i wish never came out of my mouth.

i apologise for thinking this was okay.

i’m sorry.

i’m sorry jack.

i know we’re both glad it’s over.