Here - 5/5/2022



I was there.
When she put us through hell,
When you couldn’t breath,
When everything hurt,
When you couldn’t get up,
When all you needed was a smile,
When it was late at night,
When we listened to that music
When we stared into each other’s eyes.

I was there.
When we finally held each other,
When we laughed and cried,
When you talked me through my worth moments,
When we stared into the sky,
When the moon was up high,
When you told me the truth,
When I already knew,
When I started to believe,
When you made me believe.

I was there.
When you made me promise,
When you reminded me why I cared,
When you promised me,
When we made those plans,
When you found another reason,
When you refused to let me lose mine.

I was there.
When it began to crumble,
When I began to doubt,
When your gaze became dull,
When the words weren’t returned,
When the sentences died out,
When I started to give in,
When I remembered that promise,
When you caused another wave,
When I tried to hold on.

I was there.
When it was falling over,
When it turned out I was right,
When I was blind,
When I couldn’t tell,
When I couldn’t believe,
When you made it hard to believe,
When I tried to cling still,
When I dug myself a hole,
When you helped me get out of it.

I was there.
When that hole started to deepen,
When my world came crashing down,
When you stopped saying those words
When I almost broke my promise,
When I tried to find another way out,
When my efforts were for null,
When every thought became overbearing,
When every breath felt a waste.

I was there.
When I finally fell in,
When I gave up trying,
When I began to start dying,
When those words were finally stated,
When I regretted them immediately,
When the silence became loud,
When my heart found a dark hole,
When I pushed it all away,
When I tried to forget.

I was there.
When it was all over,
When you said those wretched fucking words,
When they burned into my heart,
When you left,
When I left,
When we all left,
When it all came to light,
When I sat and stared,
When I wanted nothing more than your touch,
When I wondered things I hated.

I was there.
When you came back,
When everything snapped into place,
When everything’s still out of order,
When the memories haunt me,
When I wonder the reality,
When I know it’s all in my head,
When I wish you could see,
When I wish you could hear,
When I wish we were still that close,
When I wish you’d just know.

I was there.
When you were at your lowest,
When life started to repeat,
When I finally held you,
When I wanted nothing more,
When I wished the world were safe for you,
When I hoped you were safe,
When I knew you were safe,
When I didn’t know if you knew.

I’m still here,
But I’m not there,
And neither are you.
But like I was there,
I still feel here.
And I always will be.
I love you.





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