I found the cause of my problem...

I used my pendulum to figure out why i had felt so anxious and wrong... the result I got tells me that I've had some kind of magic put on me by an old childhood "friend"... i'm worried

when we were kids, she was the kind of person who always had to be more special than everyone, and when i started getting in touch with my inner animal and becoming more feral, she was super jealous of how powerful my wolf side was. She spent a lot of effort trying to slow me down and lying to try and make me paranoid or make herself look better than me. ive seen her now and then but she hasn't recognized me... but recently she saw my face while I was getting off a bus she was on.

ive been getting a lot closer to my animal side lately and people can tell... i know shes exactly the kind of person to put magic on me if she sees that im doing what she wishes she could. Im going to have to protect myself and get rid of whatever she did to me... but threatening me is only going to make me stronger.