i live like i'm telling a story

The slow points, where i had more time, more pages to fill, to go into detail as much as possible

Where the true depth and symbolism lies.

The middle, full of poems, brief fairytales, and one long essay about… something. 

Where colors are described and the curtains are more than just blue. 

This was added in, by me, to better tell the story. Some context. 

So what is it then? That you’ve been betrayed by everyone? Is this a precursor to the one time im not? Does she find justice in someone that won’t leave her high and dry? Yes, of course, that person is herself, but no story i would write could end proper there. Not my story. 

So what, you move. You find the place, meet the person. Or maybe a person that leads you to THAT person. “If a person could be a place then could that person be my friend?” anything could be on the table. I know what i would enjoy indulging in, but that usually isn’t a happy ending, is it? Could i be coming up on the “ending”? Maybe more like a book that skips ahead, commenting on a few decades, before closing it up at death (with a little epilogue about sitting in the light, waiting to be guided away)? But it wouldn’t really end there, would it? Yeah every book has its own world and it’s up to the reader to imagine every possible version of the story, so maybe my life isn't like a book, as i have thought and others have thought (see ‘Unwritten’). My heads hurt thinking about this now. Like i was trying to simplify it so much, forcing an ending. If it goes forever, can it really be documented (akashic records)???? I dont know what to think at this point none of it is making sense now. Like a big library and every book has 100 stories at least. Like we call the universe, it is ever expanding. Shelfs growing higher and higher and you cant even see the top from the floor. But if you want to call this all a story you would still have to read multiple books just to fully understand one. Its really too much knowledge for one to have. So simplify i must. Jam everything we can in just before their brains are about to burst and let them go. Like balloons. Start over. How many times til you would rather pop? 

So yeah back to this story. How is it gonna end?