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How can I feel so alone when I wake up to a phone full of texts
Truth is I would feel more vulnerable if I sit here and respond to them
Anxiety steps into the game when I have to go through every message
My response will play a crucial role
So crucial it'll determine how the recipient will view me
Allowing them to decide if I'm worth a reply
Putting the ball in their court
Always opens up the risk that they won't throw it back
With no official Ref
I'll have to just wait and see what's next
And that timeout hits my chests, hard
Anxiety fully present as the big screen flashes replays
I question every play leading up to this
Feeling even more lonely at the fact that no one will truly understand it
I have issues
The anxiety behind this poem is frightening
Not to mention the ton of bricks on my chest as I decide to post this
Fully exposing that I view normal things so differently
As I copy and paste
She's still here
Anxiety, that b**ch is tapping my shoulder
Now I wonder where did I lose my peace
I need to retrace my steps
Or just hang up signs so someone can find it and bring it back
I swear my stress is such a well kept secret
I don't want to take to my grave!
Sorry we interrupt your regularly scheduled programming
Because this is too much...
Ugh, Anxiety, This b**ch won't even let me finish this poem.
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3m0k1nG
Oof!
I felt every bit of this.
I have anxiety and recently started to work on trying to figure out when it started and what made it a thing.
I would see memories and stuff and it's like I am looking at someone I don't know.
Feeling like an imposter in my own skin.
You are not alone. This made me feel less alone.
Like I'm not crazy or the only one who thinks or feels this way.
^_^
I get exactly what you mean about being an imposter. It's crazy to just feel it and be like this isn't me at all.
Yesterday morning I started a poem just to get myself out the bed lol
"All these scenarios that play out in my head
Before I even go to the event
Gives me so much anxiety
As i realize my pain is self inflicted
And I don't deserve that shit
I don't deserve to lose any of these battles
While I'm fighting this war from within"
by Jane Doe; ; Report
Ooo are you posting it here when ur done? I'm gonna start writing more, too. I've been holding so much in.
by 3m0k1nG; ; Report
My best friend and I find writing to be very therapeutic. Like when we're stressed we always ask each other, have you been writing? Lol so I encourage you to write a much as you can. Life is too short to hold things in.
by Jane Doe; ; Report
💯 just the bit I've done here helps me feel a lil better. So true. Idk where the block came from, but I'm def gonna write more.
by 3m0k1nG; ; Report
Thanks for the add ,
The messages i read here between you guys are kind of riveting.
I cant say where it all comes from and i don't know where it goes when it leaves, and i cant write with a pen till my fingers bleed. And i can't seem to place myself at my desk with my keyboard just to get up a walk around because i lost inspiration when i stepped out of the car on that drive everywhere, where i was in a zone and lyrics and words and concepts were flowing from mind just like solid truth and experience and i think i would be able to revisit and make the same sense of it the same and arrange it at all. But there isnt a slight chance of it.
So its catch,,
i NEED to Write. When i try,,,, something is happening.
i forget what you call a person you write with, collaborator? Perhaps this is what we all need? Most the time it feels like the most important thing i can think of.
thanks for letting me share guys,
by yeayeaNO; ; Report