Logan Paul

Logan Paul makes me want to kill myself. Whenever I see Logan Paul, I convulse into tears and whines and barf and spit. I throw up all over myself even thinking about him. Currently, I'm sitting in a pool of vomit writing this blog post, because I need to share how much Logan Paul means to me. Meaning he means nothing to me. He is my enemy. My mortal nemesis. He makes me want to throw him and myself off a cliff. I want to take all my teeth and rip them out, one by one, by hand. I'd rather watch twelve hours of cats dying than watch five seconds of Logan Paul talk on camera. Nothing is worse than Logan Paul and his stupid minion-yellow hair. Dear Logan Paul, die.