entry 1: tired.

ive been feeling so love and attention starved, i guess maybe thats why im even writing this in the first place. i have nobody to talk to about it so i guess i might as well try to seek attention from strangers on the internet. but then what?? be happy over there pity taken on me???

i wanna get in a relationship or something with someone simply because im craving love, but i know relationships will never work out because of how pahetic and selfish i am. why the fuck do i have to have bpd and all these other fucked up issues, its not fair

and now its come down to me typing this on some mmyspace knockoff. am i trying to be edgy? , trying to get pity? , or simply am i just trying to talk abou my problems.

lmfao this is so pathetic and cheesy, nobody is going to be reading this anyways so whats the point. and even if someone does, there just gonna leave thinking im some stupid edgelord teenager who exxaggerates over there mental health. i mean thats what SHE thought of me.

i guess this is just gonna be a new way of trying to reach out to people.

i doubt it will last long because like usual, hes gonna find out about this and he will take it away from me. just like everything else that he takes, once again cutting off me to the outside world of where i cant cope with others. 

he wants everything to be perfect.  he says he NEEDS it.

ive given up on it but he still wants to push me more. i mean i guess to be put simply i only have 2 options. 1) do what he wants and let him do that to me, or, 2) go away.

anyways ig ill be posting more later bye.

wait why am i even saying bye im just writing to myself