Nights

Nights.
nights are fairly similar
the moon shines through my window shade
music blares through my headphones
its relaxing 
until the silence returns 
i lay in my bed questioning myself
am i the reason everything is shitty
am i the problem all along
but at nights 
within those thoughts is hidden
euphoria 
feelings
logic 
and healing comfort
some would say i'm a night owl
but in honesty
i see beauty in the night
there's peace that radiates through each and everyone of us 
much more beautiful than the day
i feel free
while everyone shuts there eyes
and resorts to the hidden fantasies in their subconscious
i'm awake 
alive
reborn 
alone
without a bother
i've always found comfort in my imagination 
i always dreamed big
and learned there are people who want to kill that
by telling me i'm childish, stupid and unworthy
i am safe within myself
and in nights i am the purest 
i force my weary eyes open
hoping that the longer i'm awake 
the longer i can hide from the dreaded pain of mornings
but as always theres no escape
maybe i'm programmed too?
maybe ill save that one for later 
and once again i close my eyes 
drift off
and repeat my mornings