I hate it here

My room gets messy really fast. I tend to order out too much. I bleed easily. I shaved my foot down with a facial razor because the toughness of it embarrasses me. I tend to hate it here. I don't have friends that love me. I have distant known individuals. I accidentally nik myself when I shave.  I wish it would go away from me. Leave me alone. I get into this fighting mindset, I want to fight him sometimes for nothing more than a moment of someone being just as frustrated as myself. I hate this body too much. I am smart. I have an awesome pinterest board. It is filled with saturated images. So much color and excitement. I have an amazing mind and a deteriorating image. It has been since November. it has been a while. I don't know, maybe i deserve it.